Apparently we now have so much unused stuff lying around that Better Homes & Gardens decided we need a magazine dedicated to where to put it. AND! we are shown inside ways to subtly show off our stored garbage to guests who come over. Power=Waste. You can find it wherever magazines that tell you you’re fat and have no sex life are sold.
I saw you at Barney’s last September. You were sitting alone at the bar at Fred’s, drinking iced tea, dipping olive bread into oil and stuffing your face. You were wearing a hot Pucci short dress and screaming in Porteguese into your headset, waving your hands around while switching conversations between your gold Razr and your Blackberry and sometimes texting. God, you must have so many friends. Everyone at the bar was in awe and smiling at you. I love you. Did you see me? Did you see anyone?
There’s something horribly sad about the unrequited relationship between this ventilator duct and the fish, trapped in a painting, that wants the ventilator to be an underwater sea creature friend. It’s so close to coming true! Maybe it’s just me.